‘I win – you lose’: The essence of competition

We are back from our Spanish adventure, a 5-day seminar at our favourite venue at the Eden Rock hotel near Girona. It was well attended, and the process was deep and strong and ended with two processes focusing on our tantrums and lack of self-worth.

It can be hard for many of us to see our problems and issues as a reflection of how we are acting out a tantrum and looking to other people or situations for our worth or value.  It takes us back to deep patterns of lack of bonding resulting in fear and scarcity.

Tantrums are very obvious in the young. As we appear to mature, we learn to bury the more obvious displays, but aspects of our lives are built on our taking and resulting tantrums when things aren’t how we want them to be. This then sets up the dynamics of competition, a deeply destructive pattern that many of us play out.

I can hear some people cry that competition is a good thing; but it is based on ‘I win – you lose’ and it creates a world that we now perceive. Some win: the big winners are called the 1-percenters with another few percent struggling hard to win, leaving the rest to be the losers. Competition results in a world of massive inequalities. This is painful territory and there are times when the losers are in so much pain they revert to ‘I lose – you lose too’, a very ugly game. In this game we threaten to give up our lives, our health and even our sanity in order to inflict loss on others around us. That is a proper tantrum.

Competition destroys relationships and reinforces separation.

Humanity is being called individually and collectively to give up our beliefs in scarcity and separation and learn to bond and co-operate. It is a lesson that we have refused to learn throughout history. Maybe our attraction to fear is greater than our attraction to love? Yet love is our nature.

During the seminar we had an example of the power of love and its ability to create miracles. Maybe it is time for us all to up our devotion to love in all its aspects; to raise our commitment to our fellow man and woman, for our investment in fear has created a world at war when today the wellbeing of humanity as a whole stands on a cliff edge.

We are all being called to change and make better choices. We are all being called to invest in our consciousness and become aware of the consequences of our thoughts and actions.

There is a simple way to check to see if you are competing and that is to ask yourself: Is anyone failing in my life or in my world? If the answer is ‘yes’, then you have stopped supporting and believing in the best for them, but instead have reverted to ‘I win – you lose’. You are now being ruled by the belief in scarcity and fear.

Once we become aware of our part in this dynamic and take accountability we can make a choice for a much better way. We can turn our mind from fear to love, from competition to heartfelt support.

As with all change, it starts with us. And we don’t really have a choice about doing it, the only choice we have is when.

With love,

Jeff