Taking Sides and the Loss of Peace

Posted on January 24, 2022
Wooden bridge in green field and willow tree

Many of us grew up in environments characterized by splits and polarisations. Because of the dynamics and the lack of bonding in our birth families, most of us bounced between the issues going on with our parents and other family members, with the result that we see one parent as the good parent and the other as the bad parent. For some of us this conflict changed from one side to the other, but every time the result was a split in our mind.

That split then becomes part of the narrative of our lives, seeing one side as different from the other. We then superimpose that fracture on every life situation we experience, as our perception arises from our thoughts and whatever our perception is will create form in our world. Now as we look out at the world it seems every issue facing us is polarised and therefore a source of conflict.

Then naturally we believe we are right about our perceptions and in some cases so right we are willing to attack and even go to war for our beliefs. Each time we take sides in a blog or a social media post, even over a minor issue, then we are part of the problem. All these splits and resulting conflicts exact a heavy price in our lives because while we feel immune from the fractures of our childhood, they play an increasing role in creating problems in our lives. Essentially while we harbour these splits in our mind and create them in our physical world we are not at peace. Each of us is called to heal these fractures, for each polarised event we witness in our world reflects an internal fracture and it is not possible to achieve any level of peace when we carry splits in our minds.

We are going through a pandemic, but the levels of conflict created by vaccines, or wealth, or big business will most likely do more damage to our society than the virus. Mental health issues are endemic, social isolation and depression is widespread and very few people are at peace with their world. It is only when we find our way back to peace that we will we find the solutions to all that ails us and that starts on a personal level and works outwards. It is so easy to take sides and see some people as bad people and others as good, but this is far from the truth. Think of it this way: if the world we see right now is the truth, then we are in even deeper trouble than we thought.

Many of us face challenges in our lives but we need to learn to set a direction and therefore an intention to find peace within ourselves and from that all good things will flow. There have been times on my journey that I have achieved a state of peace and the experience has been profound. It is not to confuse dissociation with peace; when we find peace our mind comes to rest, the internal noise and voices stop, and we rise above the clamour. In this state we remember our connection to that which is much greater than us. It all starts with our willingness to surrender, surrender our positions or stances, give up our defensiveness and wade through our emotions without going into reaction.

In a world in conflict, it’s not easy to be the one dedicated to a state of peace and a life without conflict. Any conflict in our life results in scarcity at some level so as we end conflict we also end separation, and as separation lies at the heart of every problem our lives will become more successful. Our ability to bond with others grows and our world starts to enter a flow of love and abundance. Let us commit today to do all we can to end the splits in our mind and help others to do the same.  


Sue and Jeff

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