This past week In the UK some people have been telling their story and others have been telling their stories back to them or to the world in general. Then the news organisations have added their stories to the story. Naturally everyone’s story is the true story.
As we so often observe, if someone goes against your story then sparks begin to fly, people get upset and righteous indignation and justifiable attack soon up the ante. Naturally every storyteller believes their story is the truth and that is true to them because it supports their position. As storytelling creatures, we love our stories. Yet to reach any conclusion about what we perceive as the truth, when we can ‘see’ so little of what is really going on in the total picture, does seem to be a recipe for fights and ultimately disasters.
Let’s imagine for a moment that everyone’s story is the truth and naturally every story has the same value as everyone else’s. So now as you let that sink in for a moment, swim in that picture and, as you do, tell yourself this is what reality is. This reality is made up of all our stories, it is the ultimate of our collective human experience; this is the product of thousands of years of education and understanding. It is at that moment that our will to live will most likely desert us.
There must be something much better and greater than this, but we need to learn to perceive it and it starts with us giving up our stories. They can’t be the truth because if they were, we are way up shit creek without a paddle.
That then brings us to the second related point, the downside of our story telling, which is our blind spots. Susie and I recognise one of the most important aspects of our relationship is pointing out each other’s blind spots. Of course, we are mostly unaware of our blind spots, and so it is not easy to listen when they are brought to light. We all think we have everything covered and our world is an open book, but when we take our lack of perception into account then it would be safe to assume our blind spots way outnumber any other spots we might have. It would also be safe to assume that at any time we are in reaction to things going on in our lives then that is a result of a large blind spot.
Many suggest that the biggest problem for humanity right now is our lack of consciousness, our lack of awareness, which basically amounts to our collective blind spots. We understand at times it is difficult or awkward to tell others of their blind spots, but it is an act of friendship to compassionately suggest other people’s possible blind spots. It is usually advisable first to make sure you have a good attitude to your own blind spots and are really willing to bust yourself to what you might be doing unconsciously. It is also important not to propose any correction or advice, which can come laced with a superior attitude. Blind spots are not something to be guilty about but to learn from and then grow in maturity, wisdom and consciousness.
Today, consider the benefits of adding this to your relationship toolbox. Take time to sit together and share each other’s blind spots, remembering if you go into reaction at what your partner says then you certainly do have that blind spot.
Jeff and Sue