Mothers and mothering

Posted on March 17, 2023

Jeff says:

This is the first Mothering Sunday without my mother being physically present, as she passed away last summer. It will be another opportunity to do more letting go and spend the time I usually spend on flowers, cards and phone calls on contemplating her and what she means to me.

When I think of her the first emotion is gratitude, for the process of going from a microscopic sperm to a newborn child can only be perceived as a miracle performed by amazing intelligence and an unbelievable act of creativity. She carried me around in her womb for 9 months while nurturing and loving me even before I showed up. Just that act alone deserves my undying gratitude; that she willingly went through that process with all the physical discomfort and birth pain to give me one more incarnation that I might achieve happiness and joy.

The next feeling is one of appreciation and awe to recognise that she took on the most important job, as do many women: successfully raising children with the smallest amount of resources, support and protection. She was in a foreign land in a place that had little time or understanding of what women face daily and yet she never flinched from her task. She met constant challenges, fears and even abuse yet she was unwavering in her presence.

A man’s gift, task, even purpose is to create a space for a woman to embrace and express her creativity. Men should create a safe enough environment to allow feminine creativity to flourish through their awareness and their steadfastness and ability to recognise the process we are an equal part of.

In this as men in thousands of years of evolution we have almost totally failed. It was with horror that I read this week that over 1000 women in the UK have complained of assaults and mistreatment at the hands of police officers in the last six months. And, to add horror to horror, 99% of those officers have escaped the consequences of their actions. This is just a small example of how we have got it all so wrong and maybe nowhere more than with our mothers and by extension with the earth, which created the space and possibility for us to flourish. Now Mother Earth is struggling as still we shy away from the tough decisions. What we all need is the courage of a mother!

Sue says:

Mothering – a word conjuring images of caring and compassion, sensitive creativity, and a deep sense of belonging. These qualities are the bedrock of a loving family, from childbirth and early years to successful adults and functional societies. Ideally, mothering and fathering have equal importance and equal value in their different contributions. Yet, in terms of childcare, education, earnings and personal and sexual safety, there are stark inequalities everywhere we look.

For us women, it is about valuing our feminine gifts in a world that seems dominated by more masculine attitudes. First, we need to recognise that we have played our part in the world we have built, for every one of us so far has been born of a mother. Then ¬we can choose to show up with our feminine gifts, to allow for the commitment and leadership to create change with guidance and grace, rather than through pushing and hard work.

This Sunday, whether you are a woman or a man, take time to examine your internal balance between feminine and masculine energies. Do we value one more than the other? Do we complain about or even get into a fight with one or the other? Can we integrate the two powers instead and value them equally every day?

As we create inner balance, we gain the courage to lead and the evenness to benefit our partners and families. Our balance is a state of mind where peace resides. It helps our own evolution and our partnership with others, including our Mother Earth.

Forgiving your Mother – Guided Meditation

Our relationship with our mother has a profound affect on many different aspects of our lives. But we often forget that she has lived a life before us, full of her own trauma and pain, and these experiences shaped the mother that we know.

This Mothers day give your mum the gift of forgiveness with the help of our guided meditation Forgiving your Mother, just £2.99.

If you want to explore your situation in more depth then book a couples therapy session in Wiltshire with Sue or Jeff or sign up for one of our events.

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