Change We Must
This is the title of a book by the Hawaiian Kahuna, Nana Veary, which is part of my essential learning and reading list. She was considered a national treasure and did much to advance our understanding of healing. As many of us look around at the people in our lives the thought that comes to mind is, “they will never change!” Probably that phrase was used about me for much of my early life; but I did change, thank God, because I dread to think where my early trajectory would have taken me and how much damage I would have inflicted on the world around me. My change was massive, but it was a journey of little physical distance for it was basically from my head to my heart. Simple in concept but it was fraught with fear and trepidation and is still ongoing.
Our ability to change becomes our ability to make everything and anything better. Our ability to change helps us solve problems and start to learn of our true nature. It is a journey we do not take alone for as soon as we show the slightest willingness to change providence moves in our favour. As we start to change then the world we see and experience appears to change. Or, to put it another way, how do we know we have changed? Because the world around us changes, for what we believe we will see.
How many times have you wanted or been asked to change – maybe due to a failing relationship, lack of funds, no work/life balance, more happiness, a way out of a crisis? You may have taken some practical steps but how much lasting change has there really been?
So why does change seem so difficult? Firstly, there is the conscious level of fear to change which shows up with us trying to create a safe place. However, we did not come for comfort and dullness, we came for adventure and fulfilment. Then there is a subconscious layer which senses that even if things might be better elsewhere, here I am getting a need met: a need for security or prominence, closeness, maybe even a level of dominance. So my fear is that if I leave this place this need will no longer be fulfilled. In this regard fear and needs are the same thing and so we remain rooted to the spot until we grow a pair or the universe gives us a big shove. It is my experience that in changing and moving forward we lose nothing: in fact, we always gain.
Then on an unconscious level our greatest fear is our fear of change. It is as if we believe we have worked our whole life creating ourselves and to change would be to get rid of our creation: us. Add to that the fact that at the deepest level we have very little knowledge of our true nature or the nature of the world we live in. We have tried to hide our profound uncertainty under a mountain of science and logic but deep down inside we know we have no idea what is really going on, so in a world of ignorance we sphincter up. For me the belief that helps is the recognition that what l know will always be dwarfed by what I do not know. When I understood and became comfortable with that then the adventure returned.
Awareness is power because it brings understanding to our world and understanding transcends the fear and needs. We need to give up wishing someone or something else would change because that doesn’t work; it only makes us a complaining and powerless victim. We cannot learn and change if we are right about things so for change to happen, we need to give up being right before we become dead right. We are all called for this journey for the sake of ourselves, our families, and our world.
Join us in Spirthill for a two and a half day workshop to explore the dynamics of change, to move through any problem and find the confidence for the next step in your happiness and success.
Jeff and Sue