As we start the new year here in the UK our country is hugely divided along many lines manifesting with wide ranging industrial strikes and disruptions. The strikes are across many industries and are causing many losses, especially in our health system which at one time was a leading model for caring for your population. Many people are experiencing fuel poverty as well as all the other forms of poverty. Longer-term predictions are not good especially as we lack the labour force to stop the decline. Some people claim that the sunny uplands are coming, but for us that seems to defy the runes and live in a state of denial about what is the experience of many of our citizens.
We in the UK are not alone in our dysfunction, but we do seem to be excelling in it. Luckily, we still have that essential gift that helps so much at times like these – a great sense of humour. We certainly need it as the latest cabinet minister resigns over a minor mistake regarding a mere £5million tax oversight! When we pull back and look at the major things that are missing, one central issue seems to be equality.
Equality is essential for success and partnership; to lack equality is to invite dysfunction and loss. If there is no equality in a relationship with any partners, then love or real friendship is impossible. Without equality many things will happen but few of them will carry any long-term benefit. Many of us confuse winning with success but they are two very different things dynamically while appearing similar on the surface. Equality breeds success and interdependence, for in every group each person or child has gifts to share, contributions to make. Of course, they are not all the same gift because we are all different but we all have an equal contribution to make and when a family, or team or community comes together in equality and everyone contributes their gift then the process becomes creative and inclusive and very exciting.
Equality starts with those closest to us, mainly our partner and our family. Often we ask this question of couples: “if your relationship was a football game what would the score be?” The answer is telling, and we do need to answer truthfully. Often people answer ten to nil or such like but that speaks of the lack of equality and competition both of which will destroy relationships and create sacrifice and imbalance. Sure, one partner might have the gift of creating abundance of money, but the other partner will have an equal gift that they can contribute such as the ability to have fun. Now when we put those together that becomes a formula for happiness.
So whatever the score is with the people around you either at home or at work, commit today to make the score even. When that happens success and happiness will follow. Then that can start to spread like a virus and people learn to appreciate our equality to start to treat each other as we would like to be treated and valued because no one will truly win until we all do.
We often look at our outside world and think if that changed then all would be well. But to try to change our outside world means we become part of the conflict. To be effective at contributing to changing the outside world we must first we willing to facilitate that change within ourselves. At a deep level, our outside world mirrors our inside world.
We will end the divisiveness in our world by ending the divisiveness within ourselves starting with those closest to us.
Sue and Jeff Allen