Looking around the room at Chuck Spezzano’s inspirational workshop earlier on this month, we were struck at the number of married couples in attendance.Coupled with the fact that our daughter is getting married later in the year and we are daily embroiled in wedding paraphernalia, it struck us that it is always good from time to time to check in with our “other half”.
Therefore, we thought we would share with you our 7 principles of a successful relationship.
Good marriages don’t just happen. How many couples do you know who are really loving and joyous together? The fact is that every one of us falls in love for the wrong reason. But with learning and application you can change your relationship from being for the wrong reasons to being for the right ones.
There are tools and techniques you can learn and apply that can free you from any bad feelings.
This is not about how long a relationship lasts for, its about what lessons it has for us. So ask yourself, would you like to continue to suffer, or would you like to learn the lessons that are specifically for you in this relationship?
4. All change starts with a communication
You probably don’t want to talk with your partner about what’s happening, but when you don’t communicate you build a wall. Have the courage to start communicating honestly, without blame.
5. When the honeymoon feeling ends, fights start – and all relationships balance
When the honeymoon ends instead of feeling good about all the bits of your partner you fell in love with, you start to feel bad about all the bits. Take a good look at your major complaints, in some way you will be balancing your partner. Now the real work begins!
6. If there is deadness or distance in your marriage, it’s time to take an emotional risk
One of the most destructive qualities is that feeling of detachment from your partner. Take an emotional risk by telling them how you feel about them, the situation, about how your life is. We know you probably feel you cannot say all that stuff, but that is not true. It’s about being willing to take that risk for your relationship.
How are you feeling right now? Are you angry, sad, confused, rejected, sick of the situation, wishing things would change? Be willing to see things differently. Can you stretch yourself enough to think your partner might even be doing you a favour when he/she triggers old bad feelings?
We hope that these principles stand you in good stead within your relationship. If you would like a complete copy of the 7 principles, please email Alex on firstname.lastname@example.org.