Last week I spent 5 days in a workshop on success with Chuck Spezzano, co-founder of Psychology of Vision. We looked at all the things that stop our success and fulfilment in life and as you can imagine it ended up being quite a daunting list.
The basic premise is that we can have all the success we want in any area – our wealth, our health, our relationships, our work, you name it. No one is depriving us of anything except ourselves and, therefore, however our life looks right now is our best shot at success.
So what could be some underlying dynamics at play when things don’t work out as we think we want?
- Fights stop our success. If there is scarcity in any area we can ask, who am I fighting with either openly or secretly? And then take steps to end the fight.
- Self-attack stops our success. If we think we don’t deserve success we push it away or sabotage it. Time to embrace how loveable we are instead.
- Holding onto grievances or wanting revenge stops our success. “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” An ouchy quote from Malachy McCourt that says it all.
- Our roles and compensations stop our success. We’re so busy pretending to be heroic, or valuable, or effective, that any prizes go to the role; we can’t enjoy the rewards. Commit to take off the makeup and be authentic.
It’s tough to take responsibility for our success and stop blaming other people or situations for what seems to goes wrong. But we all need reminders of our creative power to have things be different and I am grateful for the ones I got this week. Then the only question is how willing are we to change?