There are times when I really notice a message from the universe; it seems to come in randomly from widely different sources until eventually I wake up and pay attention. Of course we are getting messages every minute of every day and if we had the awareness to recognise and respond to each one of them we would all be masters, revelling in wonder at the richness of life.
On Monday Jeff flew to Singapore for the start of a four-workshop trip and, as usual, I was aware that his physical absence triggered some sadness and grief for me. In the past, before I started working on understanding myself, my mind would wallow around in dissatisfaction at the loss of connection. It would take a few days to get myself into a holding pattern of independence and dissociation that kept the underlying feelings at bay.
Now I have learned that, no matter how much work I have done on myself, I still have work to do. Every single one of us has flaws and old wounds inside us that surface again and again, triggered by events in our world and signalling that a new understanding is called for. This process won’t stop, because it is the very imperfection that makes us human, and fighting it or covering it up just continues the cycle; a growing awareness and a different attitude are the keys.
Then the message came in again, this time via an email from a friend. “This morning, it came to me that I want to start each day adding to a list of things I feel grateful for. I needed to clear the negative feeling completely, because I wanted to feel clean. So I followed the nudge and very rapidly wrote a long list of things I felt grateful for. The result was awesome – a feeling of well-being swept through me, filled me.”
So I did. And it worked. First on the list of things I feel grateful for is the lesson itself; second on the list is skype!